had it!

SO on Saturday I started doing exercises probably not as much as I should have but I wanted to save my knee for the birthday party Saturday. That how ever lead me to having it go on me there. I was so embarrassed having to stop so quick and not being able to do what should have been simple. I was so defeated felt like such a fool not being able to do something so simple. I struggled all day yesterday to fight my way to starting again but could not bring my self to do it. I have had it with letting embarrassing stop me so I woke up this morning and jumped right in do not do as much as I wanted but a friend told me what you do all day accumulates so I am doing more later enough of letting shame rule here I am going for it.

Ugh! Done waiting.

here we go firing up my determination. From every thing I have learned about me and good reminders from a friend I am convinced I need to get my sleep in order to help me with energy and get going on being more active but this is going to stop being a when I get it in order for me I am doing this today. wish me luch I am much more inclined to do this in the am.

The start

Ok so here we go. This is not the start of my trying to loose weight but it is  (say it strong) the end of my starting over or again. I have set the path made a 5 week menu plan at this moment I am on week 4ish and am still refining some things on the list . I am want to make a menu  I would be ok fallowing all my days with out feeling like a punishment or a diet. This has healthy treats built in and a special meal once a week, Two days of optional out to eat to learn to live real life, (because no one in our day can stay home and cook like a little house on the prairie wife any more having tried all the stay home and cook everything your self stuff it just is not practical we have at least 2 days a week this does not fly so we built them in to the plan) and one special breakfast for a Saturday or Sunday. I am not special or different from anyone in any way I was ill from food allergies for a number of years so I learned a few things about healthy eating so far they have helped make me feel a bit better but now they are going to help me thin my waist.. I weight more than I am willing to write here and struggle more than I have over come in this area. This is a big chance putting me and my struggle/ triumphs out in to the blog o' world for comment is scary to me, but, I am hoping to use this as accountability of some kind. I used to feel it before I got sick and gained so much more than I had lost at the gym I had been going to for 5 months daily before my illness stopped me. But as I joined that gym and committed to going even though I knew in my head the people there did not care if I came or not but some how I knew some where there was record I did it. so we start here. I am determined and away we go.......