learning and unlearning

For a long time I have been learning and retraining my brain and appetite to crave good things I like them now I really do even get grossed out by things that are not good for me, Friday I tried to have a Pepsi and had to get water instead because it was too much sweetness. But learning to really enjoy eating itself  is hard eating has not been easy it has always been a bad thing shameful something to get through because you had to. It is a new idea to make it something to look forward to. Weird idea since so much of my life has seems so controlled by food in a bad bad way not so much something to actually take care of me something to take in. that is new it seems so much a struggle for me and it should not be. This new idea is something I want very bad but have not found it yet but I longing to have.